Of Waffles and Attempted Burglary

a backpage-inspired villanelle

He chose a high temple of Southern eatin’
and broad daylight on a Sunday, to sneak in

You cannot go anywhere these days.
How dumb, that guy, let me count the ways —
Those waffle-gulping patrons were left in a daze.

He chose a high temple of Southern eatin’
and broad daylight on a Sunday, to sneak in.
You cannot go anywhere these days.

As the ceiling gave out, he crashed to the floor
and made his way cussin’ and shovin’ to the door.
Those waffle-gulping patrons were left in a daze.

Clambered up from the rest room, that doofus,
tried to crawl his way to the back office.
You cannot go anywhere these days.

One mistake above all doomed this hapless nut:
had to use his pants to tie the toilet door shut …
Those waffle-gulping patrons were left in a daze.

The cops, well they had him ID’d in no time —
found his pants, wallet ‘n all, at the scene of the crime.
You cannot go anywhere these days.
Those waffle-gulping patrons were left in a daze.

The End

Hey, I don’t make this stuff up — I just set it to rhyme:

This was my second villanelle. See below for the first:

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